Oh the stories you tell yourself.
You create these stories in your head based on assumptions, fears, and anxieties. Left on your own, you could completely spin out with these stories.
Keep in mind, everyone is dealing with their own RELATIONSHIP STYLE, based on their past experiences. You may not know the full story behind someone else’s actions and reactions.
When you filter someone else’s reactions through your own self-doubts and fears, you are making the story about you.
What if you were to shift that story in your head to be about them? What if you were to come from a place of compassion and curiosity?
Do you think that would change the story in your head?
When my husband would have little or no reaction when I was visibly upset about something, I made up a story that he didn’t care about me, didn’t love me and had no feelings. All I needed was acknowledgment and a hug.
But, in reality, he didn’t know how to comfort me or what I needed, so he chose to do nothing out of fear of doing something wrong.
I didn’t share what I needed, so I didn’t get it. And, I made up a story about why. He didn’t ask what I needed, so he couldn’t give it. He had his story about why.
That was one of the contributing factors in the breakdown in our relationship. When we learned how to communicate our needs in a safe and loving way, we began the process of healing our relationship.
How does this show up in your relationship? Can you think of instances where you made up a story in your head that may or may not have been true because of assumptions, self-doubt and fears?
Try this, create a story that uplifts you and not one that upsets you.
If you are going to make up stories anyway, at least make them good ones.