A few weeks ago, my coach asked me to name 5 strengths/skills that are important to develop when you are a coach. What did I feel was important? As I reflected on this, certain key ways of being came to mind. Ways that would deeper the connection to my clients so that they would know that I listen and that they also feel heard. Patience and wisdom were high on that list as well along with a few additional choice nuggets.

As I consciously sought to find ways to practice and develop these skills, something else she said to me in a different conversation, landed hard and resurfaced. She told me that I’m very hard on myself and therefore hard on my daughters too. Ouch! That stung and was so on point. I just love when someone calls me out and opens my eyes. Good coaches do that. But, even though it landed, it took about a week to realize exactly how hard I am on myself.

You see, for the past few weeks, even months now, I have been experiencing back pain that radiates down my left arm to my hand as numbness and tingling. I complain, I ice and I deal with it, but I have not made it a priority to seek medical attention. Why? Because I’m busy growing, changing, transforming and being there for everyone else. Not in a martyr type of way mind you. But in more of an “I’m not a priority” type of way. It just kind of happened because I want to focus out, learn new skills, and be there for family and friends, etc.

Listen, in the last few months, actually the better part of a year now, I’ve been fighting for my marriage, changing careers, starting a new venture and challenging myself and my comfort zone on many levels. Now, I also have the aging parent challenges of an only child to deal with. Oh, and I started working with a personal trainer to get in shape only to find my self more stressed and heavier than ever. WTF?!

So, while laying by the pool at a resort in Arizona, knowing that I needed to check in with my coach about those skills I have been practicing, it hit me! Duh! I get to practice those skills on myself! I get to show myself love, patience, compassion, generosity and everything else I so lovingly want to give to my family, friends and clients. I get to listen to my body. I get to love and care for it wisely. It’s been quite the year for me. I get to start with the man…er…woman in the mirror. I get to let go of control and perfection. No more being hard and demanding on myself. I get to listen, hear and shift. I get to be kind and loving to ME!

From now on I’ll remember to love myself first so that I can love everyone else.


I would love to hear from you in the comment section below. Supporting each other is critical to our success. Subscribe today to receive a free video gift!



This free guide "6 Powerful Ways of Being" will foster effective communication, connection, and influence in your relationships.

Download my FREE guide, Powerful Ways of Being, to discover 6 powerful ways to achieve effective communication, connection, and influence in your relationships.